Nick Stady

Do you know the story of your adoption? Has your mom told you how all that happened? 

She basically told me how she first met me, and how she knew about me before she met me and found out when I was born. But other than that, not too much. 

And you were with a foster family, right? 

I believe so. 

And then were you born in Guatemala City or were you born outside of it?

I was born in Guatemala City.

And do you know why your birth mother wasn’t able to raise you? 

My mom told me that she just couldn’t take care of it, the baby. I’m pretty sure she had other children, and having another one would just be too much for her. She thought that it would be better for her and for me to just give me to someone else, which is a good but sad option, you know? 

Do you want to meet your birth mother and find out who your siblings are? Have you been curious? 

I am definitely curious. I didn’t think about it at all for the longest time. In high school, I started thinking about who I am more or what my life could have been like if I wasn’t adopted. 

What do you think it would have been like? 

It definitely would not have been as easy. I live in a middle-class white area. There’s some privilege with that and we travel a lot. I get to see so many places. I have a really great life and, of course, I’m gay. And that could also make it difficult if I was not adopted and was still living in Guatemala. 

I hadn’t thought about that aspect. Have you read that there’s discrimination against gay people in Guatemala, maybe because of the Catholic Church dominance? 

I actually haven’t looked any of that up, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t as accepting. 

Do you remember what year it was when you visited Guatemala?

I believe it was 2015. 

Did you have any emotional feelings going back there? 

Not really. I wanted to go to the place where my mom first met me, in Guatemala City. But I didn’t feel sad or too emotional. It’s cool to see where your mother met you for the very first time, because it’s the start of a long journey that you’ll have. But at the time of the trip I was so young, I didn’t really feel that much. 

You went in 2015, so you were 11. That’s a good age to do, too, because you’re open to all sorts of things. 

I wouldn’t mind going back there now with a different mindset. I want to know more about where I came from now. We went with Kirk Stoller [one of Nick’s father figures, who passed away in 2020] and our friends from Canada, Grant and Eduardo. Eduardo was able to speak Spanish because he’s Mexican. So it helped a lot to get around.

I wanted to talk to you a little bit about Kirk because you were raised by a single mom and he was a major male role model. What was Kirk's influence on your life? 

Well, we liked to travel together, him, me, and my mom. We went to Mexico, Guatemala, and Canada. We went to Disneyland. He was always someone who supported me, like my mom. He loves me just as much. And I didn't get a chance to fully take that in until after he passed. Now that he’s not here, I think about him more. He really supported me in my singing and dancing. He was super funny. And when I came out, I was able to look up to him, like, here’s an older gay man who’s experienced a lot more stuff. I wish I could talk to him again and give him an update on how I’m doing. 

And you came out to your mom in eighth grade? 

Yes. I remember the exact date. It was February 28.  

I know there’s been some corruption in Guatemalan adoptions that they’ve tried to address through DNA testing, so you have the name and the photograph of your birth mother and the foster family. Do you think it would be valuable to them if they could meet you now, or would that be hard for you? 

I don’t think that would be emotionally hard for me. I’ve had a lot of other stuff going on in my life so I’m not thinking about it all the time, but it comes up more in my head now than it used to. I wouldn’t mind doing that if I could. 

For you and for Eli, the adoption agency we used is closed. But fortunately, you guys have some information but, Heritage didn’t reach out to me and say, “Here’s all the information that we have,” they just closed, that’s it, done. What is your sense of being Guatemalan American? Do you have more of an identity as a person of color as you got older, differentiating from your family and out in the world? 

In my senior year, I wanted to join a club that had to do with being Latin American or Hispanic. Some of them were my friends, including one who was adopted from Guatemala, just like me. So we kind of bonded a tiny bit over that.